The 3 best ways to murder your darlings

Ryan May, Tender Specialist (Perth)

The majority of writers will have heard this quote, or something close to it, at some point in their career: “Murder your darlings”, or “Kill your darlings”. Often attributed to William Faulkner but actually originating from English Writer Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, it asks the writer to sacrifice individual sentences, paragraphs or even pages that they may think read incredibly well but that fail to serve the piece as a whole. It advocates for the writer to detach themselves from their ego, to sacrifice the good in the pursuit of something better. 

This phrase makes a simple translation to tendering. There are times when you will feel that you have written a masterpiece of an executive summary, only to find out that the client hates it. Or at least, that they want you to change the one paragraph that you think deserves to be hung somewhere in the Louvre. Even if you’re right, there will be times when you have to put aside your pride and make changes based on what the client wants. At the end of the day, this is about them – not you. 

So, how do we learn to kill our darlings, to let go of this notion that we know best (even when we do)?

Here are the three best ways to do it: 

Remember that this will not be the last thing you write 

Perhaps not as comforting a notion to some as it is to others, but writing is what you do for a living. Assuming you’re not retiring tomorrow, you can be guaranteed that you will need to write again in your life, probably tomorrow, and to an equally high standard. You will write something amazing again in the future, whether you like it or not. Eventually, one of your great pieces will be celebrated for its genius – or at least included in the submission. 

Further, while what you’ve written may not be what the client is looking for this time, with a little customisation, you might find it usable elsewhere. Just because you’ve had to kill your darling in one document doesn’t mean you can’t bring it back to life in another. 

Remember that you are not your work 

While it can be hard to accept refusal or criticism of something you are particularly proud of, it’s important to remember that this kind of feedback is not a reflection of the critic’s opinion of you but is rather an analysis of your work. In fact, it is often the case that more thorough and honest criticism is indicative of the critic’s respect for you. If they know that you produce high-quality work, then they will feel more comfortable telling you truthfully how they think it can be improved and where it falls short, trusting that you will not take it personally. Of course, while you should refrain from taking feedback personally, feedback should never be intentionally unkind. If you feel that your critic is too harsh, raise this with them in person, perhaps over a coffee. By setting boundaries and expectations for feedback, you will improve what you are able to take from it, enhancing your writing. 

Further, you shouldn’t be afraid of asking why a change to your work has been requested – so long as you do so in a kind and respectful way. After all, it is important to understand someone’s reasoning if you are to learn from it. Approach feedback with a mentality of growth and improvement, not as a personal attack. 

Remember that the opinions of others are valuable too 

It can be easy to forget that the person telling us our writing is full of imperfections is still a human being and not some kind of machine designed to destroy joy. Yet they are (a human being), and their difference in perspective is a valuable aid you should not reject lightly. It is very difficult to look at your own work in a new light, so having someone else who can do this for you is a great way to get insight into how others will perceive what you’ve written. Maybe that joke you thought was hilarious falls flat to most people, or maybe you’re talking about the wrong Tesla! Take this feedback graciously, and don’t bite the hand that provides it. 

Not everything you write will be perfect. You are not Shakespeare. Don’t let it bother you! Improvement is a journey, and rejection of advice and critique is a surefire way to stagnate (while also annoying your client or critic). Be open to change and you will see your writing improve in tandem with the feedback you receive. 

Looking for feedback on a tender submission, or perhaps need someone to help pull together the bigger picture? We’d love to help! Tender Plus specialises in everything tender-related, from tender strategy to tender writing. Don’t be afraid to get in touch – we’d love to hear from you! 

If you found this article interesting, you might enjoy some of our other blogs, such as The 7 personalities of a bid team and Brace for impact: 5 dos and don’ts for impactful tender writing.